I know this is probably a stretch, but has anyone ever had Rum & Coke? (That would be Diet Coke for the sake of Liquor Chick living -- always keep it low calorie when you can!) A few of you? Hmmm. How about Baileys (light Baileys recipe, right?) with coffee? Anyone? After-dinner wine, alongside of your skinny cappuccino? I know - unheard of. Oh, and what about this combination ....Red Bull & Vodka? I know these drinks are probably vastly unheard of. And you must also know that the sarcasm is dripping as thick as the Low Calorie Baileys that you would never add to that coffee.Oh, you would? Me too! And when we make the mixture ourselves, I will bet that your bartender, much like my own, adds more than the one-shot serving, to lighten it up to your liking? And your Red Bull probably contains more than one shot of vodka -- I am just guessing. So when you control your own pour, you may in fact add more than the suggested serving. And does anyone open up a beer and pour anything else in there? Not likely.
What's the point these questions? Well, if you side with authorities that want to ban caffeinated malt liquor products, you may argue that these types of drinks make our young people drink more and faster. My side of the argument goes something like this: Products don't make us drink more, faster, harder -- the stupid quotient that is present in all of us, to varying degrees, does that just fine. You can't ban a certain modus operandi of our stupid -- you need to educate the stupid out of us in the first place.
And isn't that what society, our parents, school, public service announcements, books, friends, and studies all aim to do? What? You say the college student population will still drink too much, perform keg stands, throw up, and end up with stomachs pumped? Most likely. But Four Loko (the product-of-the-hour at the heart of this controversy) is not more to blame than we ourselves are.
Remember Purple Passion? It came in 2-liter soda-like bottles, was purple and fizzy, and was appealing as hell to teenagers (so I've heard). Did its packaging and pleasing branding make me try it then? No. Just as Four Loko's "eye-catching" colors and "fun flavors" aren't going to make college students try this, even though many insist just that. This product is merely something new in the arsenal of the "let's get drunk and party tonight" mentality.
Okay, so the colors and the "young appeal" don't affect us. What about the caffeine? That's nothing new to drinkers, as I've said before - Rum & Coke, Red Bull & Vodka, Baileys & Coffee -- all have firm footing in our weekend repertoire. So just because the caffeine AND the alcohol come together, we are supposed to reject it? As I've alluded before, if you simply pop open the can and consume, there's far less alcohol (between 6% and 12% per 23 ounces) than if you poured your own drink -- at least at my house, bar, friend's house, poolhouse, etc... You get the picture.
Oh, so the caffeine gives you the illusion that you're not getting as drunk? That's what officials are afraid we are going to think - and that we can get behind the wheel sooner than if we didn't have that handy caffeine at all. Give us a little credit - everyone knows that is a total wives' tale, propagated by old sit coms and misinformed story-tellers. You want us to be responsible and make the best decisions? Give us a little leeway to do so- (is what I would say were I still a fledgling college student, who did, as I am sure all the Big Brotheresqe types did too, drink somewhat to excess a few times).
Is Four Loko the new Power Hour of the campuses? The new shotgunning of a beer? The new keg stand? If the malt liquor is anything like the Purple Passion of the '90's, you won't be able to drink THAT much of it without getting that malt-liquor-stomach. I picture this as a start-the-night-off kind of drink, you know, like the before dinner fruity martini, that soon gets switched out after one good one. For those that do drink it all night long and end up in the health center after falling down in the bushes-- you would have done that with another type of alcohol anyway. You can't blame the can -- you CAN blame the can carrier. It's just too easy to blame a company, or a product, for the sadness and depravity that pervades the young drink-til-you-throw-up drinkers. They are always going to be around, whether or not you ban what they are jonesin' for.
One must give acclaim to Phusion Projects, Four Loko’s producer, for seeking to educate and give back to the community. They are quick and often to remind us that their products are meant for those of age, and that they do not condone underage drinking. When there has been a campus incident involving their beverage, they comment on it, admonish the partygoers and wholly support the school administration in rectifying it -- even if it means banning their product. When is the last time Budweiser released a statement apologizing for its product's role in a destructive party or riot? I don’t think blame get misplaced on Budweiser as often as it does on Phusion Projects.
So caffeine and alcohol -- is that REALLY the point? The debate doesn't hold much water, especially with the longstanding prevalence of other stronger caffeine-alcohol combinations (Four Loco has about the same amount of caffeine as a Tall Starbucks coffee). No, to me, the debate seems to focus on the uneducated, overzealous "kids" that are going to hurt themselves on this new, intriguing type of product. And the answers are the same tried and true as ever -- EDUCATE them, and trust that they will also educate themselves. Sometimes a hangover truly is the best medicine.
Bottom line for Four Loko - While I don't agree that caffeine and alcohol combined products should be banned, I do not consider this a Liquor Chick Approved Drink. Too much sugar and calories - 600 calories and 60 grams sugar per 23 ounce can. But it does give me new ideas for the Liquor Chick Lab... And I promise NOT to have college students taste test my lightened up version
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