Low Calorie Pumpkin Beers

'Tis the season for all things pumpkin -- especially drinks. I love pumpkin flavored beers, and when they add the sugar and cinnamon to the rim, who can resist these tasty treats of fall?

Here are the lowest calorie pumpkin beers that I have found -- and for research purposes, yes, I have tasted them all! I had to log in an extra couple of hours on the Stairmaster to eradicate the indiscretions, for you, my readers, it was worth it!

Just make sure you toast me when you drink one of these sweet ales. Oh, and don't forget to swap out splenda for sugar. Hey. make a difference where you can!

Old Post Road Pumpkin Ale
This beer has less than 150 calories (not bad considering 8 of the 10 we tried had more than 200 calories each) and is smooth and buttery -- definitely one of the sweetest-tasting pumpkin beers. And it's fairly popular -- you'll be able to find it in convenience stores as well as basic package stores. This one got a B+ on taste.

Shipyard Pumpkinhead Ale
Maybe I'm partial because I've been to this brewery, with generous offerings of beer served to us by a happy and informative tourguide. Whatever the reason, I truly like this beer and look forward to its release each year. With just 150 calories and a light-beer kind of taste, I think this beer appeals to everyone. One caveat: there's no real pumpkin in here; just artificial flavorings. And for that reason, Liquor Chick must give it a B-

Jack's Pumpkin Spice Ale
At 166 calories and lots of nutmeg, spices, and yes, pumpkin flavor, this is Anheuser Busch's fall time contender. It's good, albeit a little heavier than Old Post and Shipyard. But that makes it different in its own right. There are so many more pumpkin beers than there used to me, that it's nice that one doesn't take like all the rest. All around, this beer gets an A-

Other Honorable Mentions

Southern Tier Imperial Pumpking - Higher in calories than the others, but also higher in alcohol (9%) so you won't need to drink as much to feel... harvesty. This one's been in our basement bar for the past month, so I know it quite well. Try it if you see it because you won't find it everywhere.

Saranac Pumpkin Ale - Tasty, light and very drinkable. But the calories (230!) eliminated it from Liquor Chick Hall of Fame. Good in small doses, while you climb the elliptical machine, for instance.

Boston Beerworks Pumpkinfest Ale - I couldn't find the calorie count on this one, and quite frankly I don't want to know. I love this beer, and since I can only get it when I go to the Brewpub, I don't have it often enough for it to make a difference. It's good to enjoy once in while, and the freshness, sugared rim (no, I didn't ask for splenda either) and smooth finish make this one my favorite. Thank goodness they don't serve it all year long.

Bartender's Secrets to Lighten Up the Calories

After years of working as a bartender -- and even more years of pouring for myself --I have learned how to make not only delicious and fun drinks, but low-calorie alternatives to these drinks as well. Sometimes we decide to follow a recipe to the letter, but more often than not, I ammend it just a touch in order to keep the calories down -- and the numbers on my scale. I drink often enough -- I don't need my jeans size to betray that fact!

I have found that the lighter versions are sometimes even tastier, and the feeling of doing something better for our health -- well, that's nice too. Here are a few of my old standby recommendations on how to drink smarter:

1. Substitute seltzer water and a splash of a light juice for full-calorie juice ingredients. Two of my favorites are Ocean Spray Light Cranberry Pomegranate and V-8 Diet Splash. These two juices are so flavorful, that if you simply mix them with vodka and soda, you will have tasty, juice-inspired cocktail. An added bonus – the cranberry helps your body flush the alcohol through your system faster. If you want to go for the lowest of all sparkling mixers, switch out fizzy water for 2-calorie Fresca.

2. Sometimes you need more than "just a splash" to make the recipe the right way. So in these cases, always use fresh squeezed fruits rather than juices when they are specifically called for. If you squeeze your own at least you'll be reducing the amount of sugar and additives that things like Sweetened Lime Juice and premade orange juice have. It takes a little longer, but the nutrients in whole fruit juices are worth the extra aggravation.

3. Stick to clear colored spirits over darker ones. Vodka and Gin have fewer calories than Dark Rum and Whiskeys. Light Rum is better than dark, but both are still more sugar-laden than vodka and gin.

4. Better yet, eliminate mixers altogether and drink infused vodka instead. Vodka that has been infused with flavors (a fall favorite of mine is Apple Cinnamon Infused Vodka!) is not only better tasting, but you can actually sip it on the rocks since the burn of the alcohol is mellowed out by the smooth flavor of whatever’s been tossed in there. It is so easy – and not at all limiting – to make your own Infused Vodka. Jalapeño and Garlic; or Orange Vanilla; even herb-infused vodkas. Drink less, get buzzed, and at virtually no calories (60 calories per ounce of vodka)?!?! Count me in.

5. Dry white wine and dry champagne are good to consume, both by themselves, or mixed in with something. Not that I am fan of diluted wine, but there is something to be said for the lasting power of a White Wine Spritzer – grandmas and twenty-somethings alike are always drinking these. And look at the celebrities we see downing champagne at swanky clubs. It’s more than a status statement – those skinny girls know what’s what.

Laurent-Perrier Ultra Brut Champagne is one of the lowest-calorie champagnes on the market, clocking in at only 60 calories per glass. No surprise – models like Kate Moss know what they are doing. Cheaper sparkling wine alternatives (Laurent-Perrier Ultra Brut runs around $60 a bottle) that are also dry and belly-friendly include Domaine Chandon Blanc de Noirs ($15 a bottle) and Westport Rivers Blanc de Noirs ($23 a bottle). With these prices and benefits, there will always be a reason to celebrate with some bubbly!

These few suggestions will keep your drinks flowing – without overflowing your love handles. I am willing to bet that you won't miss the extra sugar -- and around Halloween time, you know you are going to steal, I mean, eat some of your kids' candy. Save the calories for that -- and you'll feel entitled to that yummy drink.

Writer's Blog

I am all blocked up. Why, you ask? And have I really been blogged up since June, when I made my last attempt at enlightening you with Mojito Memoirs and Barroom Banter? Maybe. But back to the first question... WHY??

Well, things have definitely changed since the first hints of summer showed themselves at Brady's -- and at Mojito Memoir Central (aka "my home"). When the temperatures topped 90 degrees for 10 early days in June, Brady's happily opened its patio, welcomed the beachgoers, and feverishly promoted their new summer cocktail list.

Yeah, right.

Jason, the owner likes beachgoers at his establishment just about as much as he likes his patrons wearing baseball caps, his customers staying past 10 0'clock, and his servers saying anything more than "hello" to each other over the course of their shifts -- NOT AT ALL. Yet, he is a businessman and knows that these questionably-dressed (shorts and tanktops allowed on the patio only!) commonfolk may pleasantly surprise him once in a while and appreciate a $40 dollar sirloin or a $240 bottle of Cab.

And the new cocktail list PR, so that people would know we were alive and serving -- not getting swallowed up by the new trendy hotspots that had courted away many of our regulars? Didn't happen. An expert and much beloved bartender, along with a self-promoting spirits rep ("Yes, MM, I truly believe you should order a case of Navan Vanilla Bean Liquer -- it's totally going to be the go-to drink of the summer. Oh, and the 10 Cane Rum and Coconut Ciroc are must-haves too") designed and perfected (those taste-test sessions were brutal) a pretty amazing and inspired drink menu, complete with Moet Nectar fizzy libations and coconut milk concoctions.

The opening work alone, at the beginning of each night, was enough to justify a little PR. It took about 45 minutes to shave chocolate, coat pineapples with coconut, and rouse up all the garnishes and mixers that the new trendy drink menu called for. But no... the only promotions occurred on my Facebook account, where I would post drink recipes and invite friends to come try -- that is, until some of my work friends starting becoming Facebook friends, and then I had to de-link this blog from my Wall, because you never know when one of them may start reading about themselves in a past post. Tricky. So not too much press from any angle.

But anyway - people were coming, drinks were flowing, and summer was roaring. Well, that was last summer anyway. This summer wasn't quite as happenin here at Brady's. Whether it was consumer conscience still dealing with an unsteady economy, or those aforementioned trendies that were competing for our high brow clientele (let's face it, only those upper crust country club couples could afford a place like Brady's -- and now they were spreading their nights out among 2 or 3 other new upper crust places as well), even a fun, well-studied bartender wasn't enough to carry this place. No problem -- I really only work here for the fun, the getting away from my kids, and the have a little cash-in-my-pocket reasons.

And then my reasons changed. My other-half (JmannReview) made a career move, and let's just say that as it takes off from the ground (and until we both become rich and famous), a little extra weight is being placed on my part of contribution pie chart. So staying at a possibly-floundering bar, wasting a night of Jmann's time that could otherwise be spent working on his new endeavors, seemed a little, well fruitless. And, with all the fruit I'd been wasting lately, since no one was coming in to have my garnish-happy cocktails, I knew far-to-well about fruitless and fruitful.

It was a sad day for Brady's when I mixed my last Flirtini for the suburban socialites, said goodbye to the fellow workers (taking care not to talk too loudly or too often, per the Whiteboard), and threw away my rubber-soled stale-beer-smelling bartending shoes. We all went out to enjoy a night of being on the other side of the bar, and the right side of the dancefloor. We swore we'd keep in touch, and I promised I'd be in -- as a customer. But knowing Jason's take on comping meals and complimentary drink rounds, I'd better wait til we really are rich and famous. Though when I do go back, I bet I'll have some new stories to counter the Writer's Blog.

Flukey Friday

Two days in a row. Clearly I have convinced you I am serious with this Back to the Blogging effort. Yes, maybe I am trying to make more of a writing name for myself -- after all, I can't "waste my time" bartending forever. I do have corporate websites, newsletters, press releases and the like to get back to. Yes, the 9-to-5 shackles are trying to drag me back into them. Thus far I have done well to resist. But let's face it -- I won't be the tallest, biggest-biceps'ed, blondest bartender forever. Others WILL take my place. But until they do... you gott hear this:

So last night was a usual Friday night - late comers, all expecting their "usuals", their special attention and their perfect pours. Done. That's the easy part. Yet, then they all wanted to take their time, quiz each other on micro-bioilogy flash cards (I kid you not); call their parents and tell them where they were spending their anniversary ("With Jen -- you know, Jen? The bartender at Brady's. Yes, that's right. Okay - sure. Hey, Jen, My dad wants to talk to you. ARE YOU SERIOUS???!!) They all were.

So while we at Brady's were trying to keep the money coming in, shakey as it was, since our SuperStar chef left and started his own restaurant, with the backing of his actual SuperStar sisters. Yes, we got the lesser-known, the inferiority-complexed "famous" sibling. He made a name for himself, no part in thanks to his sisters' presence. They would always stop by the suburbs when they were in the Big City shooting a movie part, or playing a concert, to give their younger, shorter brother some love. And the critics -- and diners alike -- loved this.

But then Celebrity Brother left. People wondered what would become of Brady's. Oh, have no fear, they would tell each other -- the celebrity bartender is still there. (Until she goes back to her Corporate Roots, blogging about button down shirts and three-quarter trench coats.. they'd muse.) No really, the place has done just fine without the quasi-celeb. Until this weekend...

It was pretty quiet for a Friday night. Red Sox - check. Bud Light Lime - check. All the summer stand-by's. But the usually-filled-beyond-capacity bar and patio were strangely light. Could everyone be over trying to celebrity-spy? Surely the sisters would be at their brother's new place, helping him start it off right.

I did have a few, mind you. Though I had no interest in quizzing a 60-year-old on her upcoming science test (really, Jen - she'd do better if YOU asked her the terms. REALLY?! "OH, I wish I were busier!"), I did my best to cater to the ones that showed their staying power, and came to Brady's, though all the hype was surrounding a cooler, hipper, newer place just down the road. No, these nerds were my customers now.

And the callers on the phone. Yes, I had to speak to "Mr. I Am Paying For My Daughter's Anniversary Dinner With Her Husband". I had to take his credit card number, and his instructions, on how to deliver a dessert with a candle and a smile to his deserving daughter. Yes, this is the same Jen who went to college with your daughter, sir. Yes, it's funny that she is on that side of the bar, and I am on this one. But, hey - the corporate world is calling me back.

Well, the Corporate World may be setting its sights on me again. But it won't happen until I entertain a very fun friend tonight -- and she won't ask for candles, credit card numbers, or how tall or old I am. She will sit and enjoy the freak show that is now Brady's. And then we will go get our groove on. And I wonder how many times she will get hit on before the end of my shift. It will be nice to share the conquests for a change -- and the cheesy lines. It's still more exciting than catalog writing and international finance anyway... For now!